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Today a newsvertisement revealed that Cascades has come out with a new antibacterial paper towel. This intends to make up for sloppy hand washing practices.

In other news, proper hand washing makes up for sloppy hand washing practices. (And it’s more cost-effective!)

So a couple of things are irksome about this:

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1. With all of these new antibacterial products, we have actually become a sicker, dirtier society.

Regardless of the scientifically researched dangers of Triclosan, an ingredient in antibacterial agents which kills both good and bad bacteria, people seem less inclined to spend 20 seconds washing their hands, as they would rather rub them quickly with toxic compounds used in commercial cleaning products.

Not only does this hurt our bodies, but is also hurts our environment.

What’s more, we’ve become a bacteria-phobic people. We kill our bad bacteria. We kill our good bacteria. We kill our immune systems.

It may seem really primitive, but please, stop with the spraying and the rubbing and just try some washing already.

2. Newsvertisements. The other irker. These are essentially advertisements that present themselves as news stories by credible “news” outlets.

There are so many news stories out there, and this is what they choose to cover? Paper towels for lazy people?

Seriously? Are they on Triclosan?

And really, who needs infomercials anymore when you have the likes of CNN pimping iPads. CNN: The most trusted name in newsvertisements.

Oh, but that’s not all…

The other day, 680 “All News Radio” in Toronto – Canada’s most popular radio station – did a one-sided story on a supermarket chain and its steps to improve business.

Oatmeal: The stick to your ribs news.

And a few days ago the Toronto station did another one-sider on a major fast food chain now offering oatmeal for breakfast. (I actually thought it was a commercial, until the end of the 30-second story when the reporter signed off with his name.)

I thought about calling in with a news tip: I’m selling my winter tires from my old car. Top-of-the-line brand. Barely used. And they will take you further than a bowl of oatmeal in the morning.

Then I thought, why give away that story, when I could scoop them on DahliaKurtz.com.

I feel more credible already.

I know. Advertising is the backbone of revenue for news agencies. But isn’t the backbone of these agencies supposed to be news?

Here are some things they may wish to report on:

Toronto mayoral candidate Rocco Rossi recently said, “God has never left City Hall. City Hall left God.”

Or…

President Obama is reaching out to Lebanese terrorist group Hezbollah. (Why not? It would be unfair if he only supported the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas.)

Or...

UN elects human rights violators to Human Rights Council. (Then again, not so shocking considering this.)

And, how about reporting on the numerous short and long term affects of antibacterial agents consuming our consumerism?

Anyhoo… enough news.

Now back to your regularly scheduled advertisement.

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