_It is national non-smoking week, but after watching an inane exchange on the news yesterday, I propose that a national non-stupid week is perhaps more in order.
Now, this television interview between a reporter and some woman off the street – who didn’t want to be identified by name for fear that she’d reveal her identity – surpasses almost every threshold of stupid imaginable.
Thresholds one through five were of course instantly surpassed by the woman’s declaration that she wanted to remain anonymous – while being broadcast live on the most-watched news station – in one of the country’s biggest cities.
If you appear on TV, not even dark sunglasses can mask your identity – or your stupid – when your nuclear orange skin, long dark hair, and mindless comments clearly expose that you are either Snooki, or a reject from The Jersey Shore casting.
So, in an effort to get national non-stupid week off the ground, I have transcribed the aforementioned news interview, verbatim. You just can’t make this stuff up:
_Reporter: I have one guest right now and she asked that I not use her name, because she wants to protect her privacy ... We're talking about national non-smoking week. You are a smoker. Let me ask you first, how long have you been a smoker?
Stupid: I've been smoking for eight years.
Reporter: So, what made you start smoking, if I could ask?
Stupid: It was a long time ago, but it started out pretty much for, like, a stress reliever and it's been like that since.
Reporter: So, here we are for this national non-smoking week. They're asking people to maybe stop smoking for a week. Is this something you would maybe think about?
Stupid: I would consider it. And I see the pros of it, but then again, it's more of your freedom if you want to do it or not. So, I would be against a national-wide quit smoking initiative.
Yes, Stupid is against a “national-wide” quit smoking initiative, because it’s “more of your freedom if you want to do it or not.”
Well, I am for a nationwide non-stupid initiative, because of people like Stupid. Who’s with me?