 Honestly, I don’t know Fergie’s schedule. But, it’s clearly busy enough that it takes too long to utter all the syllables that make up her name. Still, Stacy Ferguson is one of Glamour’s Women of the Year. (Obviously, I’m not that busy. I was able to write her full name.) Kate Hudson presented the award to the Black Eyed Peas’ lead vocalist. She said Fergie is the busiest and hardest working woman she knows. It may sound absurd, but I believe it. I mean, do you really think Hudson knows a lot of working class, single moms – or heck – any upper-middle class, married, stay-at-home moms? Fergie does work very hard and has a great body to prove it. Constantly running to chase after relevancy does a body good. To be fair, this article isn’t meant to blast the one-time meth addicted star, who overcame her dependency and used her mediocre talent and physical genetics to succeed. It is however meant to blast Glamour Magazine. I know, I know. Here I go burning bridges again – before they are even built, or pondered – but these self-indulgent, self-important, self-<insert negative connoting word here> “awards” are just so… Pretentious.  Victoria Beckham shows off her 'real' side. And isn’t that what glamour and Glamour are all about? Pretentiousness. Originally “glamour” described a magical spell cast on a person to make him or her believe that something or somebody was attractive. Today, not much has changed. Some excerpts of speeches from the Awards: “Tonight glamour is about how much good woman can do. It is about courage, strength, and determination. It is about selflessness. And I see a lot of that ‘glamour’ here tonight,” said Queen Rania of Jordan. (No relation to Queen Latifah.) By the way, she also forgot to mention that it was also about L’Oréal, the title sponsor of the event. A sponsor that helped provide to Glamour's 2010 advertising revenue of $54.4 million, more than any other magazine. But, back to the speeches… Janet Jackson presenting to winner Donatella Versace, “Last summer when I lost Michael, I called you and asked you, ‘Would you please help me and my family? Would you dress us for the funeral?’ I knew you would understand like no one else could. And you did. We were dressed in Versace. Which means we were dressed in love.” Wow. With a speech like that, Janet also should have received an award: Most Pretentious at a Funeral.  The Jackson family wearing Versace. Of course, Cher, the Lifetime Achievement Award Winner of the night, managed to ground the celebration in reality, “It always feels good to know that there are empowered women who are really doing something.” Perhaps referring to Fergie, who the Awards dubbed the “Girl Next Door.” And, yes, in places such as Malibu or Beverly Hills, she may very well be the girl next door. But, while Glamour’s Women of the Year Awards are littered with celebrities such as Oprah and Julia Roberts (who “wasn’t afraid” to add five to seven pounds to her 5-foot-9 frame for Eat Pray Love), they are also sprinkled with the girls next door. “Real women.” Organic authenticity. A tactic also used by Dove and its “real women campaign” to legitimize an otherwise underhanded attempt at brand recognition and public awareness, only to fuel the bottom line. Back in its September 2009 issue, US Glamour featured 5-foot-11, 175-pound, plus-sized model Lizzie Miller as a three-by-three, unphotoshopped, naked picture buried on page 194 of the magazine. It was the small roll of belly fat heard round the world.  Lizzie Miller: Represents all 'average' women This perfect-skin-baring, below-average sized woman was intended to say plus-sized models are women too. It was also Glamour’s highly publicized attempt to celebrate “all kinds of beauty.”
And this is what Glamour does. It glamourizes itself. In a statement by the magazine, organizers of the event said, “Glamour’s Women of the Year event has had an impact on politics and society that literally saves lives.” And while, Fergie’s contributions to breast cancer research and AIDS awareness charities are just that – (tax deductable) contributions – it is a stretch to categorize her social impact so emphatically. Especially when there are so many unknown lifesavers who deserve to be honoured, or at least, acknowledged. Do you know all of their names? I don’t. Because we never hear about them. We just bask in the wonders that their work does, without even knowing it. So let’s learn their names. Let’s do something. And then let’s strive to put our names on that list too. Just don’t waste your life working so hard to be glamourass, for that is only of worth to those who share in the bottom line, and is never even worth enough anyway.
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