TV makes people fat.

Just not for the reasons you think.

We laze there stuffing our faces with junk, such as Oprah, 90210, Jersey Shore, American Idol, and the like. Sure, we also stuff our mouths with over-processed, under-nourished snack foods, but we stuff our minds with something that may be even worse.

Unrealistic ideals.

If TV (and other media) didn’t try so hard to portray skinny as the ultimate image, there would not be as many fat people.

Honestly, I don’t know Fergie’s schedule. But, it’s clearly busy enough that it takes too long to utter all the syllables that make up her name.

Still, Stacy Ferguson is one of Glamour’s Women of the Year.

(Obviously, I’m not that busy. I was able to write her full name.)

Kate Hudson presented the award to the Black Eyed Peas’ lead vocalist. She said Fergie is the busiest and hardest working woman she knows. It may sound absurd, but I believe it. I mean, do you really think Hudson knows a lot of working class, single moms – or heck – any upper-middle class, married, stay-at-home moms?

It was fifth grade. I had always loved piano. Not so much the sound, but the keys.

The keys. I enjoyed pressing them. It made me happy.

At the time, I had not yet received lessons. Of course, on a couple of occasions I briefly tampered with the instrument, and that was all I needed.

On this particular day, I was at school. Forest Park Elementary. Mrs. Warrick, the music teacher, led us down the hall to where the piano awaited its audience as Parent-Teacher Night neared.

And I wanted to perform.

You get paid to do your job.

Does anyone pay you extra just because you did it?

When you buy groceries, do you pay your, say $100, then give a few more bucks to the cashier who took your money and bagged your groceries?

Do you tip a server for good service? Do you also tip a server for poor service? Well, 98 per cent per cent of you do.

Throwing money in the garbage isn’t illegal, but perhaps if it were, people would stop tipping, because it has indeed become just as counterintuitive.

Have you ever turned on the TV only to see some animal documentary about lions or manatees or some sort of creature you never thought you found interesting, until you started watching the show?

Have you ever been at a party or a restaurant and accidentally tasted some food you thought you never would have liked, but you did?

Have you ever made a bucket list – a list of things you want to do before you kicked the bucket?

Well, I don’t think anyone can ever make a proper bucket list, until he or she has kicked the bucket… list… to another level…