A returning problem

Have you ever bought, say, a pair of shoes?

Have you ever returned said pair of shoes?

Well, not once have I done that. I have many-a-time done that. And not just with shoes.

Some people may have a shopping problem. I have a returning problem. I am a Repeat Returner.

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It doesn’t matter if something is $99.99 or $1.99. It could end up returned.

I’ve probably spent thousands of dollars on shoes, lipsticks, nail polishes, shoes, accessories, clothes, and shoes.

Funny thing though, I do not own thousands of dollars worth of these things, and my bank account is no less for the wear. (Unless you count, gas, time, and – as my dad would be quick to point out – wear and tear on the car.)

Some may say I’m a conscientious shopper. I go with the moment, but if I make a wrong decision, I am quick (well, whatever the length of the refund policy) to call myself on it and make up for it with the return.

Some may say I’m an (annoying) indecisive shopper. I’m indecisive in the moment, and then I draw out that indecisiveness walking around the house all day in my new workout shorts, new hot pink lipstick, and new '70s-style funky cork sandals. The only way the shorts, the lipstick, and the sandals all go together is by virtue of matching uncertainties.

(But isn’t uncertainty the new black?)

I have so many just-in-case-I-have-to-return-it receipts in my purse that even a tax-receipt shoebox would be jealous.

Then, I have to be sure to keep the refund receipt to cross-reference that refund with my visa statement, which I often forget to do anyway. Too many things on my mind …

“How many of my jeans do these shoes go with?”

“Will this shirt still look good on me in my mirror at home?” (Stores often do slightly tilt their mirrors to take off a few pounds.)

“If I walk in these sandals for more than 20 minutes will they hurt? Are they just sitting-sandals?”

If you ask me, I think the idea of forcing someone to spend his or her money to invest in something they’ve just, well … met, is as insane as walking into a store, browsing through potential boyfriends or girlfriends, and choosing one for a committed relationship.

Excuse me, but I don’t shop like Tila Tequila or Gerard Butler.

You should be able to go into a store, select something in which you could potentially be interested, and take it home to get to know it better. If you get along – if it still complements you after a couple of weeks together – only then you should release some of your spending dowry.

What irks me most are the stores with no refund policy: exchange or credit note only. Those stores can easily trap you into a committed relationship when you don’t want one. For Repeat Returners these stores often hook you, forcing you to re-purchase another item from the store (or hoping you forget to purchase another item from the store).

This can result in a lose-lose relationship for both parties. The Repeat-Returner cycle may viciously take hold, and the store will have to deal with exchange after exchange. (Not to mention wear and tear on the cash register, as my dad would probably say.)

No. I try to stay away from those stores. But admittedly, do have a couple credit notes loitering somewhere in my purse, I think ... Not sure with all those receipts in there. 

So, yes, I may have a returning problem, but at least I don’t have a spending problem. 

And the best part is when you return something, you have so much more money to spend! And you are environmentally friendly, because you have more money to recycle.

By the by, I did keep the sandals.

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