25. i typically read magazines from back to front. so i thought you may like to read my list that way too…
24. as a little girl, i often tried to sneak into the boys' washroom, just to make sure that all boys actually had peni…
23. i don't believe the plural of penis should be penises, rather i strongly avow it should be peni [pronounced: peen-eye].
22. i have always excelled at grammar... and could probably write a book on textbook grammar... yet i often choose not to adhere to any rules of grammar… "..." is pretty much all i need... so i’m goin’ commando with the grammar today…
21. ... (see #22)
20. at 4 years old, i "beat up" a grade one'er (as well as any 4-year-old - with 7-year-old fighting talent - can "beat up" a kid) when the chick made fun of my father, calling him my “grandfather” …
19. i'm fiercely protective of those i love ... DO NOT mess with my family ... leave that to me.
18. i'm not short, i'm concentrated.
17. as a little girl, i would approach boys who were older than i ... motioning with boxing fists i'd ask, "hey boys, wanna fight?" i seriously thought that was how to make friends.
16. i have a different valuation system than most ... my currency is shoes ... so a house that is worth $200,000 canadian, converted to shoe currency, is worth about 4000 pairs of shoes ... but when shopping for shoes, i typically use the canadian dollar as my valuation source.
15. when i was about 10 my baby brother found a styrofoam cup on the street and picked it up ... my mom scolded him for doing that because "you never know whose dirty mouth was on it." i feared my brother may have contracted AIDS from touching that cup, so i ran back and touched it too ... because if he had AIDS, i wouldn't let him have it alone ...
14. i tried to get my little brother in trouble by teaching him how to climb out of his crib, and then bribed him with fake chocolate bars to lure him out ... even after (or maybe because) my parents said he'd get in “big trouble” if he climbed out again.
13. i used to be a charlie chaplin impersonator ... sometimes people didn't know if i was a guy or a girl ... sometimes older women felt me up to make that determination.
12. i probably got felt up more as a chaplin impersonator than most prostitutes …
11. i'm afraid of almost everything, but always do things that i fear.
10. though i fear water, i spent 48 consecutive hours submerged in a tank of 40,000 litres of it, to broadcast live on the radio as "danger girl" and raise money for sick kids ... i had no washroom, so i peed in the water - a lot ... there may have been 41,000 litres of liquid when i was done.
9. someone once stole my bike. i happened upon it about a month later. i stole it back.
8. i have a big problem making small decisions ... even choosing the colour of my underwear can be agonizing.
7. if you truly deserve it, i'm the type of person who is more likely to call you a bitch to your face than behind your back. just ask my cousin, jennifer.
6. i was mistaken for a hooker when i slept on the wrong beach in israel. another time, in my mid-twenties i was mistaken for a 16-year-old by a 40-something trying to pick me up. actually, that happened many times (grossitating).
5. i can often tell when people lie to me, but will rarely call anyone out on it. momma knows, child. momma knows.
4. i have never done (non-prescription) drugs in my life, but in high school my dad thought i was a druggie and a dealer and warned all my (druggie) friends' parents of such.
3. i wish i were a tall chick, like 5'2" or even 5'3".
2. i'm super-left wing, and right about everything. (and i enjoy making fun of myself with "jokes" that people don't find funny.)
1. i eat so many blackberries, you could probably send a text on me – oops, gotta go – i’m ringing… (xoxo)
(0. this one is zero, so it doesn't really count and we'll just have to pretend it was never here ... but thanks to an old friend's comment below ... i have added it to this list ... i used to be a table tennis champion. seriously. #1 ranked junior girl in the country. and #1 ridiculed girl at school.)
6/17/2010 12:06:54 am
Dahlia, i also share your love of proper grammar (but find myself slipping from it when writing casually), and cannot read a magazine from start to finish - always has to be finish to start.
6/17/2010 05:04:35 am
I think I left with more questions than answers, but it was a good read. ;-)
6/17/2010 11:40:04 am
Charlie Chaplin's 'stache weirds me out. you?
6/17/2010 12:02:06 pm
considering his stache was pre-hitler i'm actually quite okay with it... plus... he used it for his advantage (and the world's advantage) when he made his first talkie "the great dictator"... a must see movie. a MUST see. one of the best movies of all time. ALL TIME. (and kanye may even agree)
6/17/2010 10:33:13 pm
Too embarrassed about being a ping pong champ?! :) Haha. It's ok. I understand your pain, as I have to live it everyday, except I was a ping pong loser. :(
6/17/2010 11:55:05 pm
mark, you win this one buddy. i added it. thanks:)
8/21/2011 03:20:08 am
now stanley thats another fine mess youve gotten us into
10/3/2012 05:06:38 am
this is such a lovely post.
1/13/2013 10:04:22 am
It's such a shame that you're a liberal, given all of the other favorable attributes that you seem to possess.
2/27/2021 05:28:18 am
I've missed your voice on my radio and I just saw that you have been thanked for your services from cfra. What a shame. You were a bright light for my weekend mornings. Thank you for all the smiles.
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