It's a bird ... It's a plane ... No! Wait! It's Dahlia flying a plane! (And I may or may not have flown illegally close to the CN Tower.)
_It is national non-smoking week, but after watching an inane exchange on the news yesterday, I propose that a national non-stupid week is perhaps more in order.
Now, this television interview between a reporter and some woman off the street – who didn’t want to be identified by name for fear that she’d reveal her identity – surpasses almost every threshold of stupid imaginable.
Thresholds one through five were of course instantly surpassed by the woman’s declaration that she wanted to remain anonymous – while being broadcast live on the most-watched news station – in one of the country’s biggest cities.
Look closely at this picture to the left. What do you see? No, not the half-naked girl. Look again. Bottom right corner. You see a glimpse of me revealing my dirty little secret to Canada and the world - in the table of contents previewing a double-page spread.
After the jump, check out my story in Sportsnet Magazine, Canada's leading all-sports glossy, as I pioneer two things:
1. A new sport for sports magazines.
2. A photo shoot for a 5-foot-nothin' non-celebrity.
I am afraid of everything. But, I am not afraid to do anything.
It’s funny, when Samba Days gave me the opportunity to select from its seemingly endless list of gift experiences, rather than choose from categories such as Wine, Gourmet, Getaway, Body and Soul, or Life and Culture, I found myself choosing from Explore and Adventure.
Yes, I passed up the opportunity for delightful spa treatments and tasty pampering experiences to harness myself to a cable 35 feet above the hard, rocky ground, and wear (an impressively disinfected) helmet that may not have been conducive to maintaining my hairstyle, but was beneficial in making me feel like a stunt-double in a Michael Bay movie.
Now, I have established a reputation as one who fights for her right not to vote, because regardless who wins most elections, I will be unhappy with the outcome.
It’s like asking me if I want pork or chicken for supper. I am vegetarian. I choose neither. And with all the pigs and chickens on our election ballots, there is no point for me to vote.
Quite frankly, though the mainstream parties in Canada run the left-centre-right gamut, they are each just slight variations of the other.
The NDP is as left-wing as a chicken with one wing (a right one), the Conservatives are as right-wing as the Liberals when catering to the popular vote, while the Liberals are quite liberal with their ineptness.
Teen pregnancy is apparently at an all-time low in the United States. Or, is it that teen abortion is at an all-time high?
According to the Center for Disease Control, the pregnancy rate for the LOL-OMG Generation has hit its lowest since tracking began 70 years ago.
But what does that really mean?
It means that statistics tell as much of the story as a teenager after a night out with “friends.”
Women. We are the worst.
A British study finds that females over the age of 33 should dress like they are 66. Which is odd, because I thought 66 was the new 33.
Yes, in this survey of 2,000 embreasted and embittered people, it has been concluded that miniskirts must be skirted after 35, at which point naval piercings are also nay, and ponytails must be curtailed after 51.
Oh, and this is just the tip of the women-can-be-cold-as iceberg.
In an effort to curb an obesity epidemic that’s eating the country, Canadian researchers suggest a tax be placed on all junk food. Dr. Mark Eisenberg is lead researcher in the junk study and says obesity related deaths and illnesses could be reduced if the government steps in.
Chips, chocolate, cakes, cookies – they want them all taxed. But why stop there?
In the light of the $78-million price tag attached to the royal wedding, mainly attributed to British taxpayers, and due to its potential cost of $47 billion to Britain’s economy, I must state the obvious: It’s entirely unfair that celebrities have to pay for their own weddings, and dare I say, their own homes too.
Now, before you get your knickers in a bunch, allow me to explain…
As with many markets around the world, the British have been subjects of an historically feeble economy. High unemployment, a weak consumer, and rising inflation, all crave one thing: a strong investment.
What company can turn news of consumer price increases into constant nationwide news-mercials that leave anchors and viewers yearning for a donut and a double double?
Hint: Its business name is missing an apostrophe (and some would argue a dollar sign too).
Yes. Tim Hortons. Or perhaps, more grammatically - and realistically - appropriate: Tim Horton’$.
For the past couple weeks Canada’s coffee shop has warned (or brilliantly advertised) of its four per cent price increase effective April 11, 2011.