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Dear Dove

4/6/2010

1 Comment

 
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Dear Dove,

How are you? How are sales going since your Campaign for Real Beauty began? Are more women buying your anti-aging products and your cellulite-reducing complexes?

I understand re-defining beauty is difficult. That is something I have been trying to do with my Bye-Bye Barbie program. You know, teaching young women that they don’t have to look to a product to find beauty. Unfortunately, I don’t have any creams to sell them.

By the way, using “real women” in your campaign is admirable – and brilliant. Not only is this refreshing, but it is also cost-effective for your company.

And I’m so glad that you’ve limited your real women to sizes between six and 14. Out of those bounds, you never really know who is a “real woman.” Especially those sneaky fake women above size 14.

Do you realize how clever you are? Dove has managed to strategically play upon the insecurities of millions of women, while simultaneously coming off as their supportive best friend. I know if a size-6 or even size-14 woman sells me cellulite-reducing cream, it has to work – or at least it means the product is a requisite for real beauty.

Your believability factor soars with all these real women endorsing your products. This makes me more inclined to trust statements such as, “Dove Therapy System Shampoo … actively repairs damage, leaving hair healthy and beautiful everyday,” even though it is scientifically proven that damaged hair can’t be repaired!

But your promise – or declaration perhaps – ascertains healthy and beautiful hair, and since girls’ self-esteem is a top priority to Dove, it must be true.

To be honest, your Real Beauty Campaign has definitely helped me to free myself from beauty stereotypes (an excellent mission, by the by).

When I look at your ads, I think, who cares about those other fancy deodorants that make girls beautiful? I’m going to use Dove deodorant, walk down the street in my perfectly white bra and panties, and break beauty stereotypes.

Who cares about everyone who thinks women should use the most expensive brands to rid them of cellulite? I’m going to use Dove firming creams, walk down the street in my perfectly white bra and panties, and break beauty stereotypes.

Who cares about fake and bakes or fake self-tanners? I’m going to use Dove’s fake tan. It brings out more of my real beauty.

I really just wish Dove sold perfectly white bras and panties. After all, people seem to buy everything your brand sells them, so you should definitely consider it. Clearly, it makes the world a more beautiful place. Plus, a Dove fake tan would be a great contrast against the white undies.

Can’t you see me just strutting down the street now? Everybody would think I’m a real beauty, and with a fake tan, surely comfortable in my own skin. 

Now I know Dove has come under scrutiny for Photoshopping ads you say are untouched. Well shame on the New Yorker and those other credible critics. They’re probably all ugly anyway, so who cares? Those people should probably consider investing in some of Unilever's (your parent company) other brands such as Axe or Slim-Fast.

A natural woman selling a product to refine beauty only serves to increase my self-esteem. Because if I couldn’t buy beauty, how could I ever find it within?

So, thank you, Dove for re-defining beauty, and making us feel more comfortable in our firmed and fake-tan skin. I hope you keep up the good work and continue making all those beauty products to cover your many faces.

Sincerely,
Dahlia Kurtz
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1 Comment
Jayne Aston link
11/10/2010 11:29:21 pm

Bravo!
You tell them Dahlia!

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