The other night, much of the world was oblivious to the horrible suffering endured by 1 billion people, and I'm not talking about the poor and disenfranchised.

I’m talking about the estimated worldwide audience that watched the Oscars telecast …

In hopes of conquering such strife, back in February, I called for a metaphoric colon cleanse of society - “Fodder-Free February.” The mission was a month-long moratorium on famous people who are well suited for passing through our bowels.

It would be a month free of banal celebrity gossip. (Luckily, I chose the shortest month of the year.)

When I was five years old, I wanted to marry a rabbi or a shoe salesman when I grew up. A rabbi, perhaps because I’m Jewish (I really don’t remember why), and a shoe salesman, because, d’uh, I’m Shoeish. 

From the time I was little, I was already very left wing socio-politically. I may never have been statistically the right height for my age, but as a child, I was not usually my actual age either.

Every time I saw a homeless person, I was confused. How are there not enough places for people to live? Every time I met a fat kid, he’d become my best friend. How could others be so mean to him? Every time I could get my little brother in trouble for climbing out of his crib, I would. How could a big sister not be even a little bit mean to her baby brother? 

Do sagging boobs equate to a sagging economy?

Today, many news outlets are reporting that plastic surgery is rebounding with the economy. In other words, as jobs grow, so do breast sizes.

It certainly stands to reason that there are growing opportunities to work at Hooters. The breastaurant has shown that any economy can support inflation, or inflated chests, as it were. After opening shop in China, the Philippines, Singapore, South Korea, Taiwan, and most recently Japan, Hooters is not only recession-proof, but is proving successful, in many ways.

It was the most revolutionary social movement, since the chip hit the fan, in the wake of a chip company’s noisy but environmentally friendly bag.

The other day, a small group of users on a social media site, created a social mediament, as it were, and managed to put an end to female exploitation.

Sort of…

Hosni Mubarak is a horrible dictator. He runs a country where constitutional rights are suspended, censorship is legalized, religious freedom is hampered, and democracy is passé.

And for those reasons, it is unfortunate that the low life is stepping down.

Even the largest minority religion and most persecuted of Egyptians groups – the Coptics – agree. Under what would likely be an Islamic fundamentalist government, Egypt’s seven million Coptic Christians could be at risk of suffering a similar fate to six million Jews, Gypsies, and homosexuals - this in addition to the Holocaust of sorts that the Copts have already faced.

Has it really come to this? Has it become so bad that bad is the new good?