It is surprising that Cosmo never runs out of ideas for non-stories. So, it isn’t surprising that I’m about to follow the magazine’s lead, since I have no idea what to write about today.
“Your 2011 Get Gorgeous Guide.”
“Is Side Boob The New Sexy Cleavage?”
“What’s He Really Thinking The First Time You Have Sex.” (Wait. Thinking? Men can do more than one thing at once?)
If all these headlines were substantiated, don’t you think the world would have far more gorgeousified (well, now it’s a word), well-adjusted women who understand men and makeup? And maybe even a little less quadruple-boobed-wrong-bra-wearing women?
Men, I am about to let you in on a very dirty secret, exclusive to women.
And women, I do this not to hurt you, but to shame you. Yes, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Granted, I am a woman, and like many other ladies out there, have no need for shame in this instance, but am willing to take one for the team, if it could finally help fix this horrible mess …
The zoo … The pigpen … The molto-disgusto-sicko-yucko-grosso:
The women’s washrooms.