You should have seen all the paparazzi following me after this appearance on "The Morning Show." Or maybe getting whacked with a racket by the host just made me see things.
Ban adult ads on Craigslist.
Ban the sale of condoms to minors.
Ban shoes for Dahlia … Heck, ban adulthood for her too.
When I was a kid I couldn’t wait to be an adult.
I promised myself I would eat as much chocolate as I wanted. I would have cake and ice cream for supper. And I would go out to restaurants every night (presumably ones that served cake and ice cream).
I live in Canada, but I don’t use the Canadian dollar as my source of valuation.
I don’t use the American dollar, the yen, or the pound either.
I use shoes.
Yes, shoes are my valuation source.
Admittedly, math has never been my forte, but shoes on the other hand – or foot, as it were – are.
While the loonie may determine cost, the shoe determines true value.
Here’s how it works:
Have you ever bought, say, a pair of shoes?
Have you ever returned said pair of shoes?
Well, not once have I done that. I have many-a-time done that. And not just with shoes.
Some people may have a shopping problem. I have a returning problem. I am a Repeat Returner.