Six simple guidelines to win my vote

09/19/2011

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Now, I have established a reputation as one who fights for her right not to vote, because regardless who wins most elections, I will be unhappy with the outcome.

It’s like asking me if I want pork or chicken for supper. I am vegetarian. I choose neither. And with all the pigs and chickens on our election ballots, there is no point for me to vote.

Quite frankly, though the mainstream parties in Canada run the left-centre-right gamut, they are each just slight variations of the other.

The NDP is as left-wing as a chicken with one wing (a right one), the Conservatives are as right-wing as the Liberals when catering to the popular vote, while the Liberals are quite liberal with their ineptness.
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Let's tax the crap out of everything!

04/27/2011

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In an effort to curb an obesity epidemic that’s eating the country, Canadian researchers suggest a tax be placed on all junk food. Dr. Mark Eisenberg is lead researcher in the junk study and says obesity related deaths and illnesses could be reduced if the government steps in.

Chips, chocolate, cakes, cookies – they want them all taxed. But why stop there?
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Six simple guidelines to win my vote

03/29/2011

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Election time is upon us, and I’m actually looking forward to another federal vote. It'll be cool to see the biggest garbage in the world, when we dump $300 million into it.

In honour of the big event, I’ve decided to set aside my pinko lefty ways (Don Cherry’s and Archie Bunker’s words – not mine), and promise to vote for ANY party that follows my simple guidelines. More on that in a bit...

Quite frankly, though the mainstream parties in Canada run the left-centre-right gamut, they are each just slight variations of the other.
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Poor kids: The richer the nation the fatter the poor

03/07/2011

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In 1989, the House of Commons made a resolution to achieve the goal of eliminating child poverty among Canadian children by the year 2000.

In 2010, an act to eliminate poverty in Canada was introduced into the House of Commons.

What a difference over two decades can make.

At least one in nine children in this country live in poverty, while one in every four children in First Nations’ grow up in it.

Today, health ministers from across Canada collectively announced that we must wait until November 2011 to find out what they intend to do about childhood obesity. What they fail to note, is that it is one of poverty’s heaviest problems.
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Tip for Tat?

11/12/2010

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You get paid to do your job.

Does anyone pay you extra just because you did it?

When you buy groceries, do you pay your, say $100, then give a few more bucks to the cashier who took your money and bagged your groceries?

Do you tip a server for good service? Do you also tip a server for poor service? Well, 98 per cent per cent of you do.

Throwing money in the garbage isn’t illegal, but perhaps if it were, people would stop tipping, because it has indeed become just as counterintuitive.
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Stick it to the ban!

10/17/2010

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Ban adult ads on Craigslist.

Ban the sale of condoms to minors.

Ban shoes for Dahlia … Heck, ban adulthood for her too.

When I was a kid I couldn’t wait to be an adult.

I promised myself I would eat as much chocolate as I wanted. I would have cake and ice cream for supper. And I would go out to restaurants every night (presumably ones that served cake and ice cream).
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My Right Not to Vote

09/10/2010

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As it stands, right now, I refuse to vote for Toronto’s next mayor. This does not mean that I am not participating in the vote. Nonetheless, in this article I present to you a campaign. You see, I am campaigning against my husband.

I am fighting for my right not to vote.

And quite frankly, Nellie McClung would be proud.
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WhERe is the Care?

05/24/2010

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I spent two weekends in a row at the WR: The waiting room. Otherwise known as the ER or “emergency room.”

Not to sound entitled, but there are certain things one expects from universal healthcare.

Universality, being one.

Health, another.

And, finally, care.

You see, my father has a heart condition. Over the past eight weeks his heart has been beating down the days until his triple bypass surgery. Meanwhile, there has been a complication from a related procedure, and he developed an aneurysm in his arm.

Left untreated, he could have lost his arm - or even his life. In this instance, thank goodness, he only lost his mind.
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Do Not Let This Die Too

05/13/2010

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The Animal Holocaust started a few days ago, and since has created a media firestorm. Now the Ontario Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is storm(troop)ing back.

In the OSPCA’s first address to the media in the past couple days, as it avoided all calls and communication earlier, its chairman, Rob Godfrey said, "Yeah, the good news is that there's not gonna be mass euthanasia."

At the time of publishing, 99 animals had already been euthanized by the OSPCA’s Newmarket shelter, due to a highly treatable ringworm infection.

NINETY-NINE is NOT mass murder, Mr. Godfrey?
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The City Slipped a Roofie in my Meter

04/27/2010

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It all starts innocent enough.

“Come, hang out! Have a good time.”

You go. You eat. You drink. Have a fun night out.

Next thing you know, you’ve been violated – by the city of Toronto.

The city slipped a roofie in my meter.
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