Picture
”When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat.” – Gwyneth Paltrow

Oh the lies people tell.

The above quote is from the constantly acting actress’ crookbook, My Father’s Daughter: Delicious, Easy Recipes Celebrating Family & Togetherness.

The queen of the humble brag had other noteworthy delectables such as, “You just need some good ingredients and a few simple recipes, maybe a couple of jokes or a ‘topic to dissect’ at the table, the way they do at Nora Ephron’s house.”

Good thing most of you sit when you read, or there may be many injuries after tripping over the late writer’s name there – or other celebrity friend names casually littered throughout, as if Gwynnie’s referring to everyday buds we all share.


 
 
Picture
My name is Dahlia Kurtz and I have a Snooki-Paris-Kardashian problem.

What does this mean? Well, in layman terms, it means I have a crappy problem. I just can’t stop talking and writing about these human phosphates: fillers full of fillers, void of substance, whose final outcome serves mainly to increase bacterial growth.

You see, last week, when Snooki became a New York Times bestseller, I realized something – I actually aspire to be like her. It scared the Snook right out of me.

But it is Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank whom I have to thank for inspiring me to finally acknowledge and deal with this issue, in perhaps the best way possible.